Gratitude is not giving thanks.

A talk I gave for church this last Sunday. 

I base my talk on President Monson’s talk from the October 2010 General Conference called “The Divine Gift of Gratitude”. It’s a wonderful talk and it was a blessing to have a topic that we celebrate at this time of year. But as I was thinking about it, I know I have been guilty of neglecting gratitude. I have so much—a wonderful husband that encourages and supports me in everything, a warm little house that gets puddles only when it rains but not when it snows, parents and sisters and friends that love me, being at BYU, being in this ward, so many things that I’m not sure if I give the Lord the proper credit How can I express enough thankfulness for these things since I have and the enjoy these blessings everyday? How do I really show my gratitude to the Lord? It’s a problem that is not new and the Savior, our greatest example of selfless service, was confronted with it in the following story President Monson discussed in his talk. It is one we all know as one of the quintessential examples of expressing gratitude within the scriptures. I quote from Luke 17 the following episode from the Savior’s life.

“And as he entered into a certain village, there [he met] ten men that were lepers, which stood afar off:

“And they lifted up their voices, and said, Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.

“And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the priests. And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed.

“And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,

“And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan.

“And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed? but where are the nine?

“There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger.

“And he said unto him, Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole.” 

President Monson said in discussing this story that "The expressed gratitude by ONE merited the Master’s blessing; the ingratitude shown by the nine, His disappointment. . . Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love." I have unquestionably seen this principle in my own life. Towards the beginning of this school year I was feeling overwhelmed. I had 3 papers due that week along with a pile of grading to do for my job along with the normal reading assignments for all of my classes but I couldn’t focus. As soon as I was trying to work on one assignment the worries about my other assignments clouded my mind and my work just wasn’t effective. We had discussed in Relief Society the Sunday previous Elder Uchtdorf’s talk about having an attitude of gratitude from last April conference and I got the impression that I needed to sincerely and with real intent, thank my Heavenly Father for the blessings I already had. If I “recognized” those blessings like President Monson said, then the doors of heaven would be unlocked. So I paused and prayed and told my Heavenly Father how grateful I was to be studying at BYU, to have such interesting classes and professors, to have the atonement as a constant reminder and enabling power to come unto Christ, and many other things that I was thankful for in my life. After that, my mind was focused on what I needed to accomplish and I finished my work much quicker then I would have which was a wonderful blessing from Heaven. 

One of the most prevalent reasons we so often forgo expressing gratitude in the first place, whether to our Heavenly Father or the people around us, is that we feel like those we are thanking know it already. They know how much we appreciate their sacrifice on our behalf, how much their work gives a renewed understanding of their love for us and since we assume they understand the value of their work, we are more than happy to just enjoy their wonderful accomplishments. The most dangerous word in that sentence is just. Every single one of us are living our lives and in doing so, we end up gliding past others who need us as much as we need them, to understand each of our places in the Lord’s plan. President Monson quoted the English author Aldous Huxley saying“Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.” That cuts to hear because of how true it is. Christ did not just pass these men by like so many others had done, but heard their cry and answered them. Often however, like the 9 lepers, we are too distracted by the joy of the blessings we receive that we forget where the blessings came from.

The blessings and temptations and afflictions that the Lord allows to enter our path are for our growth and development but if we don’t acknowledge what we already have with thanks and praise and glory to God, then we haven’t grown enough to allow the Lord to give us our next step. President Monson continued in his talk and said “To express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven.” This applies not only to our relationship with the Lord but to all the people around us that are constantly influencing us for good. Our mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts, grandparents, siblings, in-laws, spouses, friends, home teachers, visiting teachers and everyone in between. By beginning to express gratitude, we can give to those who bless our lives everyday a reflection of the love they have given to us already. By acting out our gratitude we can learn to love others more deeply in serving them as they have served us. But by living with gratitude in our hearts and in our actions daily, we can begin to understand that gratitude is not about expressing thanks, but about figuring out how to love.

Our Father’s greatest mission is the “immortality and eternal life” of us, his children. His greatest hope and desire is that each and every one of us here in this room will return to his presence in joy to progress eternally through the opportunity of having our own spirit children. There is a cycle that the Lord wants us to understand, that gratitude is not based on thanks. Gratitude is not something we think of just at Thanksgiving. Gratitude is built on, cemented in and one of the most important expressions of love we can give. Real. True. Christ given and Christ-like love. Our Lord, Jesus Christ, has done everything. He lived, he served, he worked, he suffered, he bled and he died for me and for you. For you. The words of my favorite hymn come to mind “What tongue my gratitude can tell, O gracious God of Israel. Never can I repay thee, Lord, But I can love thee.” When we are spent, when we are rejoicing, when we are content and when we are despairing, Jesus Christ commands us to love. “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul and with all with all thy mind” and “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Learning to love others by giving thanks to them for the things they do and acknowledging their sacrifice brings us one step closer to being like our Father in Heaven. He does not look at us with disdain or contempt because of all the things we fail at, he looks at us with joy. Sometimes with a little exasperation but with an understanding that you are doing what you can. The best you can. All you can to follow the strait and narrow path back Home. Brothers and sisters, love those around you. Give them the benefit of hearing your thanks and feeling your love. 

I testify that gratitude is not just something for the holiday season but is for everyday of our lives as we learn to love like our Heavenly Father and Elder Brother love us. Allow the Lord to work in your life by giving thanks to Him everyday for the bounteous blessings He has given you already. By changing your thoughts towards thanks, the Lord will change your heart towards love. Turning God with gratitude and thanks “Make[s us] more worthy of [His] love, And fits [us] for the life above." I say these things in the name of our Redeemer and Healer, Jesus Christ, Amen.